She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
