Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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