you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
