halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
