We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
