Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
A+ Viking dick
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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