I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
