So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
