Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
