So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I AM VODKA MAN
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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