you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
