first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
please come you make the beer taste better
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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