You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
