As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
only if we run a train.
done.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
