I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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