I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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