watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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