That's intense
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize