weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
