Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it because I queefed?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
