Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!

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(714): View more from California

She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?

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(305): View more from Florida

Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.

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(+61): View more from Australia

THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.

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