oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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