i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
