Sorry, I don't speak sober.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
