His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
