i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This house was built for laser tag.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
