Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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