What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
