does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
