No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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