Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
