so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
