She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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