I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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