I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
