I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
