I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
