he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
should my penis look like a turkey
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
