Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
