I want to stick my p in your. b.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
