Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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