Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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