I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am mentally ready for anal.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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