don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
