what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
