All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's blow job season.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I didn't notice because vodka
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
