I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just gargled with NyQuil
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
