I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just had sex on a roof
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
