Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
