If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
