Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
