Even the bartender felt bad for me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
