i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
