I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize