"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
