Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
birth control should be required to get into college
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Boobs are out for the taking
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
