Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
