somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
do nipples grow back?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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