I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
tell me about the eggs
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
