We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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