You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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