I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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